Faith Community Church (UnOfficial Website)
We are new and we call ourselves - FCC = Faith Community Church.

We are moving in Faith, growing in the Word,and reflecting the Love of Jesus for the glory of God.

I Made a Mistake
I Made a Mistake
One of the first things that a child needs to learn is to accept responsibility for their behavior.  By nature, children and adults tend to shift responsibility.  For example, if a child breaks a cookie jar and says, "It broke."  "It broke."  "I didn't have anything to do with it."  The wise parent will say, "Let's say that in a different way." And help the child take responsibility of their mistake. 

There is nothing sinful about breaking a cookie jar.  You are simply teaching a child to accept responsibility for his behavior.  If you don't teach this important lesson, you hamper the social development of your child.  An adult who shifts blame will have trouble in marriage.  "I broke the cookie jar."  It's a big lesson.

We All Make Mistakes
Some of us are willing to admit it and apologize.  Others deny, or rationalize their wrong behavior. I agree with Dr. Spencer Johnson who said, "Few things are more powerful than having the common sense, wisdom, and strength to admit when you've made a mistake and to set things right."  

If you have trouble saying, "I was wrong."  It probably started in your childhood.  Perhaps your dad never apologized, so you got the message that real men don't apologize.  In reality, to rationalize your wrong behavior is a sign of weakness.  It means that you are not willing to accept responsibility for your mistakes.  Learning to say, "I was wrong" is a major step toward becoming a responsible and successful adult.   

Learning an Important Lesson
I remember when my son was about six years old.  He accidentally knocked a glass off the table.  It fell broken on the floor.  I looked at him, and he said, "It did it by itself."  I smiled and said, "Let's say that a different way: 'I accidentally knocked the glass off the table.'"  He smiled and said, "I accidentally knocked the glass off the table."  He had learned an important lesson:  accept responsibility for your behavior.

I know adults who have not learned that lesson.  They are still saying, "It did it by itself."
Here's an exercise for you: Stand in front of the mirror and say, "I was wrong.  I was wrong. I was wrong."  Say it until it feels comfortable.  Then, use it when you know that your behavior was inappropriate.  

The Language of Your Apology
"I made a mistake."  "I was wrong."  Two of the most important sentences you will ever learn.  There are not perfect wives, no perfect husbands, no perfect children and certainly no perfect parents.  Healthy families do not require perfection, but they do require the willingness to admit when you do wrong.  When Dr. Jennifer Thomas and I wrote the book: the five languages of apology, we discovered that for some people, this is what they are looking for in an apology.  If you don't admit that you were wrong, they feel that your apology is insincere.  

The next time you need to apologize, you might use those words: "I made a mistake."  "I was wrong."  It might make it easier for your spouse to accept your apology and forgive you.

Asking for Forgiveness
In a perfect world, no one would need to apologize.  But in an imperfect world apologizes are a necessity.  Part of apologizing is admitting that you need to apologize.  "I owe you an apology," is a good beginning.  Then tell them why you are apologizing and admit that your behavior was wrong.  Ask them to forgive you.  

When you sincerely apologize, you will most likely receive forgiveness.  When you fail to apologize you leave an emotional barrier between you and the other person.  When is the last time you apologized to your spouse?  Or, your child?  If it has been more than a week, you probably owe someone an apology.  Be brave, say the words: "I owe you and apology."  Time doesn't heal hurts; apologies do.
Comments (0) | 26-Feb-10 8:53:53 AM
Help, I Do not Know My Spouse s Love Language
Help! I Don't Know My Spouse's  Love Language - Gary Chapman
Do you know your love language?  Do you know the love language of your spouse?  Many couples are sincere.  They love each other, but they are not speaking the right love language.  My research indicates that there are only five basic languages of love. 

1. Words of Affirmation - using words to affirm your spouse. 
2. Gifts - the gift is evidence that you were thinking about them.
3. Acts of Service - doing something for your spouse that you know they would like.
4. Quality Time-   giving your spouse your undivided attention.
5.Physical Touch - holding hands, kissing, embracing, putting your hand on their shoulder; any touch so long as it is affirming.

Out of these five, each of us has a primary love language.  One of these speaks more deeply emotionally than the others.  If you don't speak the primary love language of your spouse he/she may not feel loved, even when you are speaking the others.  

What does your spouse do or say that hurts you most deeply?  

The thing that hurts you most deeply is probably a clue to your love language.  It may not be what they do or say, but rather what they fail to do or say.  One wife said, "He never lifts a hand to help me around the house.  He watches television while I do all the work.  I don't understand how he could do that if he really loved me."  Her love language is acts of service.  In her mind, if you love someone, you do things to help them.  For her, actions speak louder than words.

However, for others, words may speak louder than actions.  One husband said, "All she ever does is criticize me.  I don't know why she married me.  It's obvious she doesn't love me."  For him if you love someone, you speak kindly to them.  His love language is words of affirmation.  That is why her critical words hurt him so deeply.  

If you want to discover your spouses' love language you might ask: What is it that I do or say, or fail to do or say that hurts you most deeply?  Their answer will reveal their love language.  

What does your spouse most often request of you?  

What your spouse requests of you most often, is a clue to his/her love language.  You may have interpreted their requests as nagging.  In fact, they have been telling you what makes them feel loved. 

If your spouse is requesting that you take a walk after dinner, go with them on a picnic, cut the TV off and talk, or get a weekend away together, they are requesting quality time.  That is his/her primary love language.   The thing that makes them feel most loved is when they have your undivided attention.  

One wife said, "I feel neglected and unloved because seldom does he spend time with me.  He gives me nice gifts on my birthday and wonders why I'm not excited about them.  Gifts mean little when you don't feel loved."  Her husband was sincere, but he was not speaking her love language. He later said, "if I had known that sitting on the couch talking with her was more important than gifts, I could have saved a lot of money." Discover the love language of your spouse if you want a growing marriage. 

How does your spouse most often express love to you.

Observe their love expressions carefully. Is it Words of affirmation?  Gifts?  Acts of Service? Quality time? Or, Physical Touch?  The way they express love to you is likely the way they wish you would express love to them.  

If he is often hugging and kissing you, his love language is probably physical touch.  He wishes you would take initiative to hug and kiss him.  If she is always cooking meals, washing and folding your clothes, cleaning up the bathroom after you leave, then her love language is probably acts of service.  She wishes that you would help her with the work around the house.  If you don't, then she feels unloved.  For her, your taking out the garbage is more important than your hugs and kisses.  One husband said, "If I had known that my taking out the garbage would make her feel loved and more responsive sexually, I would have been taking out the garbage years ago."  Too bad it took him so many years to learn his wife's primary love language. 

What does your spouse complain about most often?

What your spouse complains about reveals his/her love language.  We usually interpret their complaints as negative criticism, but they are actually giving us valuable information.  Complaints reveal the heart.  

If your spouse says, "We don't every spend time together.  We're like two ships passing in the dark."  They are telling you that quality time is their love language and their love tank is setting on empty.  

If your spouse says, "I don't think you would ever touch me if I didn't initiate it."  They are revealing that physical touch is their love language.   

If you return from a business trip and your spouse says, "You mean you didn't bring me anything?"  They are telling you that gifts is their love language and they can't believe that you came home empty-handed.

If your spouse complains, "I don't ever do anything right."  They are telling you that words of affirmation is their love language and they are not hearing those words from you.

If they say, "If you loved me, then you would help me."  They are shouting that their love language is acts of service.   Discover and speak the love language of your spouse if you want a growing marriage. 
Comments (0) | 30-Jan-10 1:06:18 AM
Think About What You Are Thinking About

Think About What You Are Thinking About

posted by New Eve on Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Article contributed by Esther Hew, PJ3

BOTMI am a born again Christian but why don't I have the peace, joy and hope of God in me? Why can't I live a victorious life? These were the questions I used to ask but not anymore ..

The Battlefield of the Mind has taught me to initiate an habitual process to think about what i am thinking about and then, to make the necessary efforts to meditate, contemplate and ponder on God's Word day and night. As I started to think and be mindful of what i was thinking, and worked at filling my thought process with God's Word, I received a wonderful reve lation and it gave me a new perspective for my life.

Although Romans 12 : 2 teaches us to be transformed by the renewal of our mind so that we may prove what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, but many of us have not gotten our mind renewed because we spend very very little time pondering, meditating and contemplating on God's Word.

Instead our mind keep thinking of the wrong thoughts: such as why my boss never appreciate what i have done for him? There is no point in doing so much for him; Why can't my children work as hard as my neighbour's children? This type of negative thoughts only tear us down. They also change our attitude and affect our emotions for the day. We become a person with a lot of unhappiness, hatred, anger and jealousy.

When I start to think about what I am thinking about, I became aware of this strong current of negativity coming over me that threatens to pull me down. Once I realised what was happening inside me. I resolved to change my thinking so that i will no longer be held captive by these negative thoughts and emotions. Following the teaching of the Battlefield of the Mind, I started my quiet time with God on a more serious note. I would practice putting God's Word into my thinking. Overtime my effort bore fruit. For example, one time when i was wondering why such a sad incident had occured. God's Word came to mind to reveal His reason for allowing it to occur and that His wisdom transcend all understanding. We may not know why such an incident happened but God tell us to trust Him, that He will work out for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. The way God spoke to me reveal the truth that the measure of thought and study we give to the truth we hear will be the measure of virtue and knowledge that comes back to us.

From the above experience Ii realise how important it is to be aware of what goes into our mind and that we need to replace and fill our thoughts with God's Word. To line up our thinking with God and His Word.  Through this process of  thinking, we will be changed or transformed into what God intends for us to be and will be able to live a victorious life and be good witness for Christ to the world.
Comments (0) | 27-Jan-10 5:04:54 PM
7 ways to protect your marriage against moral failure

Like the saying goes, the grass is not greener on the other side of the fence; the grass is greener where you water it. We must make sure our marriage is growing and developing, or we’ll be susceptible to moral failure. If you want a happy marriage, you’re going to have to work at it.

Song of Solomon 1:6 (NASB) says. “They made me caretaker of the vineyards, but I have not taken care of my own vineyard.” There’s a danger in ministry of spending your time repairing other people’s marriages and neglecting your own. I’ve worked very hard at my own marriage. Kay and I have learned that you can’t develop separate lives if you’re in ministry. Separate lives can lead to moral failure if you’re not careful.

Here are seven tips to keep you from developing separate lives:

  1. Involve your mate in your ministry. You need to keep your spouse informed about what’s going on in your ministry. At one point I took home all the personal mail I got at Saddleback and shared it with Kay. I wanted her to know what was going on at the church. Secrets lead to separate lives. You’ve got to ruthlessly eliminate secrets in your marriage. Make your spouse a part of what your ministry is about.

  2. Surround yourself with reminders of your family. I keep a drawer filled with reminders of my family. Whatever reminds you of your family (a picture, keepsake, etc.), use it. Do this and you’ll keep in mind all you have to lose with a moral failure.

  3. Keep lines of communication open. I read a Christianity Today survey once that said 49 percent of ministers rarely or never talk to their spouse about sexual temptation. That’s asking for trouble. Keep the lines of communication open. Most affairs begin with shared feelings and shared frustrations that should have been shared with a mate. They say, “I can’t talk to my husband or wife, but this person understands me.” Baloney! Affairs begin by emotional bonding, and they continue through secrecy and dishonesty.

  4. Direct attraction toward your mate. You’re going to be attracted to other people – even if it’s fleeting. But you need to redirect that attraction to your mate.

  5. Date your mate. You and your spouse need a regular date night. Put it on the calendar. Don’t let anything get in its way. It doesn’t have to be expensive. If the weather is nice where you live, have a picnic somewhere. There may be someone in your church willing to babysit your kids as a ministry to your family. Regardless of how you make it happen, you need to do it.

  6. Make much of your marriage in public. There shouldn’t be any doubt in the minds of the people you’re serving that you’re happily married. I’ve said many times to our congregation that I am hopelessly in love with Kay. I want people to know that. I try to speak positively of her to the church family. I’ve presented her with flowers in front of people at the church. Public expressions of affection are important.

  7. Never discuss your marriage problems with anyone of the opposite sex. If you do, you’re asking for trouble. Discuss them with people of your own sex. At Saddleback, we only let our ministers counsel someone from the opposite sex once. After that, they’ve got to refer them to someone else. I think that’s wise counsel. When your marriage is hurting, it’s too easy for you to see someone who is listening to you as the answer.

Your marriage matters. It matters enough for you to protect it. The best way to protect your marriage is to keep working at it. Never stop growing closer to God and your spouse. The moment you’re not growing closer, you’re growing farther apart.

Never let your marriage take a backseat to your ministry.

Comments (0) | 10-Jan-10 11:19:08 PM
We have used
Today, 31th December 2009, our Malaysia's High Court has declared that Christian can use the word of "Allah" in their religious practice. Thank you, "Allah" that You are still in control. Give glory, honor to the Utmost High - "Allah"!



'Bapa kami di surga:
Engkaulah Allah yang Esa.
Semoga Engkau disembah dan dihormati.
Engkaulah Raja kami.
Semoga Engkau memerintah di bumi
dan
kehendak-Mu ditaati seperti di surga.
Berilah pada hari ini
makanan yang kami perlukan.
Ampunilah kami dari kesalahan kami,
seperti kami sudah mengampuni
orang yang bersalah kepada kami.
Janganlah membiarkan kami
kehilangan percaya pada waktu kami dicobai
tetapi lepaskanlah kami dari kuasa si Jahat.
(Engkaulah Raja yang berkuasa
dan
mulia untuk selama-lamanya. Amin.)'

Comments (0) | 31-Dec-09 6:05:23 PM